Liberal Quiz: Are You Worthy of Obama?
You might be a liberal. Find out now!
Ever wondered if you have what it takes to be a sensitive, environmental friendly, compassionate, tolerant person, worthy of the love of Obama? Well, it’s your lucky day!
There are a mere six simple steps to this test. That’s only half of a Twelve Step Program, and a whole lot more enjoyable. Good luck. He Who is Him may find favor with you.
Let’s get started
1. Since a follower of Marx is a Marxist, a follower of Mao is a Maoist, what is a follower of Obama?
A: Brilliantly capable of understanding nuance and seeing the Messiah’s Path as Holy, to be traveled without question.
B: Stupid
If you answered A, good going! Now, continue on to the next question. If you answered B, please try one more time, to find out if there is any hope for you at all.
2. The picture shows the back of President Obama’s head. To see his glorious face, hold your monitor in front of your bathroom mirror.
If you followed these instructions, congratulations! You’re well on your way to enlightenment. If you thought this exercise was a grand waste of time, suitable only for morons, get out of here you Racist, Bigoted, Homophobic, Hater!
3. If you believe that Obama Care is a Right, should be available to all those who reside in the United States, and must be paid for by evil corporations and the wealthy, you…
A: Have turned over all free will to the Chosen One, as he knows what’s best for you. Praise be to Obama!
B: Are a Fascist.
Actually, it was a trick question, both are correct. Getting the answer half right still counts as a correct answer. If you didn’t answer the question, that’s okay. You still get to be counted as doing it, just like when you forget to vote. Remember it’s your heart felt motivation that matters, not actually achieving anything.
4. For the next section on the quiz, get a permanent marker. Now find these words, and circle them on your screen. Obama, Messiah, Liberal, Democrat.
Did you find them all? If you did, fantastic! If not, you’re still a wonder human being, and may yet sit as His Left Hand.
5. If you still believe in Global Warming…
A. What? Why wouldn’t I believe?
B. Clap your hands.
Either answer is just fine. You’ve got what it takes. Obama almost loves you, so don’t stop now!
6. Just one last section. This is where we test your loyalty. You must kill George W. Bush. The War Criminal is laughing at you and has to be stopped.
The devastating decisions Bush made, are still preventing our Leader, Barack Obama from achieving his earthly goals. The only way for Lord Obama to complete his mission, and you to attain Nirvana, is to rid the world of the failed policies of the past. Break the spell of this vile sorcerer!
This task will require a special piece of equipment. Go find a length of pipe, a steel rod, or other sharp metal object. It can’t have any kind of insulation on it. You will want to feel his life leaving his body, throughout your entirety.
Got a suitable skewer for slaying the Great Satan, who is Bush? Fantastic! Now, slam it through his black heart!
This concludes our test. If you’re reading this, you’re a big, fat loser, unable follow even the simplest of instructions. Never will you never walk in the light of the Messiah. You’re a worthless failure. Worse than that, you suck!
But you may be able to find a small bit of redemption, you piece of crap. Obama demands you throw yourself under a bus. He hasn’t got time to do it himself. Now go. GO! Don’t look at me that way. Get out of here! Find a speeding Greyhound to stand in front of. You disgust me. That’s right, out the door. Off to the freeway with you.
[Wow! That was fun, and way easy too. Almost as much fun as running over dirty, stinking hippies with a Hummer! Obama voters got to be the most gullible idiots of this age. Darwin would be so proud of me.]
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